Why does this picture live on my dresser?
Normally, once your baby is born, these sweet sonogram pictures are replaced with precious newborn pictures, one year pictures, and so forth. This is a picture of our youngest child, our rainbow baby. We are so blessed that he was born healthy and is growing into quite the rambunctious toddler!
So why can’t I bring myself to replace this picture? There are many reasons, but I’ll share three:
- There was an appointment that I went to with eager anticipation to get a sonogram picture. I came out empty-handed and left broken and devastated. I had to return to the doctor the following week to see if my baby still had no heartbeat. As I sat in that waiting room, I watched other moms unfold their pictures, smiling as they showed their other children their new sibling. I will never forget that moment or that feeling. To be clear, it wasn’t a feeling of jealousy. I was happy for them, but heartbroken for myself and my family.
- This picture was taken near the end of my last pregnancy. I remember wanting pictures often as confirmation that he was still doing okay. Knowing that he was fine and seeing his sweet little face brought me so much joy and peace. I immediately put it out to look at as a reminder of God’s goodness and faithfulness.
- Now, this picture of a baby inside my womb lives on my dresser because it allows me to think of what our Baby Stewart may have looked like. I cling to it because I know I have a baby with no picture. I never want to forget or take for granted the blessing of carrying a life inside of me.
So while I continue to take pictures of each of my kids and update photos around the house, there is one picture that, at least for this season of my life, will remain unchanged. This picture will continue to remind me of what God has carried me through. It will remind me of His miracles, goodness, and faithfulness to me as it continues to live on my dresser.
